Five Signs Of A Good Listener

We all know some people are better listeners than others. Excellent listeners give their full attention to whoever is talking. Pitiful listeners can’t stop thinking about themselves long enough to hear what others have to say. Most of us fall somewhere between.

People with anxiety may not listen well if their focus and worry is on what to say next. This usually leads to mind-freeze or lobe-lock; conversations typically go downhill from there.

Know that if you practice listening attentively, meaning not thinking but only listening, conversation is much easier. It leaves you free to have spontaneous reactions to what is being said which is a necessary ingredient of good discussions.

Although most of us know when we are with a good listener, we may never think about what qualities are involved in listening well; until now.

5 Signs of L.I. (Listening Intelligence)

1. When talking to a good listener, you know that you’ve engaged their attention. The eyes reveal they are focused on you. They will not get the glazed over look of someone who’s deciding what to eat for lunch, or appear distracted as a person who is listening to another conversation while in one.
2. Because a good listener is free to react naturally to what is said, they come across as being genuine. Attentive listening requires a person to forget themselves while conversing, and people are more genuine when the self is temporarily forgotten.
3. Many excellent listeners come up with frequent intuitive remarks or keen observations. Because their attention is on your words, and they are not thinking about what to say next, their mind is quiet. A quiet mind can be observant of body language, facial expressions, the feeling behind words, and is ready to receive any pearls of wisdom that visit their gray matter.
4. Good listeners often know themselves well because they not only listen to others, but to their own thoughts, feelings, and instincts.
5. After enjoying someone’s rapt attention, you walk away feeling appreciated, that what you think and feel matters. Giving attention to someone is a gift everyone likes receiving.

Listening skills can be improved, and there are payoffs for making the effort. Being attentive works magic with relationships, school grades, and employee performance reviews. If your social anxiety is high, you may need to practice listening and responding with a counselor, or in a group setting, where you can learn to trust your spontaneous thoughts, and emotions.

By Jacqueline Marshall.

Source: Living With Anxiety

Karma by Scott Shaw

Before I get into the whole who, what, when, where, and why of Karma, I believe that it is important to discuss one of the most essential issue of Karma -- why people turn to this understanding for answers.

People commonly ask, "Why has somebody else achieved something?" "Why have they, when I have not?"

If you wonder why you have not achieved your life goals and desires, the first place you need to look is yourself.

Do you live your life from a place of positivity and goodness or do you live your life based in negativity?

Negativity is expressed in many ways: anger, criticism, violence, dishonesty, and so on. If you perform these actions, then you have developed bad Karma. It is as simply as that.

If you live your life embracing negativity, that is the answer to the questions of why you have not achieved your life goals. For if you live your life at this level, negativity attracts negativity and you will never be able to live your dreams -- because negativity is against the greater good of mankind and the universe.

If you find that you have been living your life embracing negativity, and you want to change, the question may then be asked, "What can I do to change?" Well, the first thing you must do is you must stop performing negative actions. Then, you must repair the negativity you have unleashed.

What does this mean? You must replace your negativity with positivity.

First of all, do not attempt to justify your actions by stating, "I didn't like that person or that person deserved it."

Who are you to judge!

As long as you negatively judge others, it is you who will inhibit your own growth as a conscious individual.

Or, "I did it because of my negative cultural programing, my bad childhood, or my family genetics."

Stop that! Take responsibility for your actions!

Furthermore, repairing your Karma is not like going to confession and being told to recite one-hundred "Our Fathers," or one-hundred "Hail Mary's." Those actions may right you with your priest, but it does not right you with the person or person's you have unleashed negativity against.

It is kind of like saying, "I'm sorry." That statement means nothing, if you do not do something to truly prove that you are sorry.

What you must do is, you must right your wrongs!

How is this achieved? That depends on what you have done.

If you have stolen, you must repay those who you have stolen from. If you have lied, you must tell the truth. If you have criticized, you must replace that criticism with praise. If you have injured, you must repair the damage.

Many people wonder why Karma hits them so hard. This is because they do not set about on a path of positivity and consciously attempt to right the wrongs they have committed.

Repair your own Karma.

Try it and you will be amazed at the results. Positivity will enter your life and you will much more readily achieve your goals.

It is you who must do this. No one can do it for you. Right your wrongs!


Source: Karma

Always Be Grateful For Everything

This is the most powerful emotional state of mind that people can have, that is be grateful. Always be grateful for the love you receive from your family, your friends, your colleagues. Thank them in some way. Treat them a meal, buy them a gift, just give them a word of greeting, or just give them a prayer in your heart. Be grateful to yourself, to your body. Say thanks to your feet for supporting you for such a long time, say thanks to your eyes for letting you see the beauty of this world, say thanks to your ears for giving you the beautiful sounds of the universe. Say thank you to every part of your body.


If you do this, you will feel gratitude all the time, you will feel a source of energy flowing through your body. You will feel energize and motivated. If you are reading this article right now, you are probably reading it with a computer. This means that you are in the category of 70% rich man in the world. If you were born with great physical outfit, then you should be grateful for your body. When you are down and sad, just think of other people who are even more worse than you. Some people always said that they don’t have a car, and only if they have a car, they can travel anywhere to run their business and they can succeed. Is this true? No! Not at all. Some people don’t even have a motorcycle, but still they succeed because they have the burning desire.

Whenever you are down, think about what you have around you. Did you know that you are actually a very rich man if compare to people 100 years ago? Did you know that with all the information you receive from the internet in just one day, is much more than the entire life of a person 100 years ago? Don’t complain that you have living a lousy life, don’t complain that if you are not having a car or a job. Just be grateful of everything you have. Once you always be thankful to what you have, you will feel that energy start flowing into your body. You will feel energize and you will be motivated. You want to do more and you will provide more, give more. In the end, you will receive what you want the most.

In fact, if you were born with everything, you will lose the hunger for success. If you were born in a billionaire family, most likely you will lose the hunger to create more wealth. This is because you already have everything you wanted, and this makes you lost the hunger for success. That is why most of the self-made Millionaires start from zero, just like you and me, we are future millionaires. 

Source: The Millionaires Secret

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
~Buddha

Have a great weekend!

ALWAYS be GRATEFUL and things will happen

To write here every single thing that has happened to me in my life would be impossible. So I will just say this - BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE. I know that some days (or some years) it may look like you have nothing, but trust me.... you always have something. A friend, a smile from a stranger, a coffee maker that you rush to every morning to bring you the smell of the day to come.

I have always known when things would happen for me because those were the things that I would FEEL the most joy about (even if I was still waiting for them to manifest). The idea of not having it would make me feel empty. So I learned to trust my feelings. If I felt happy thinking about it then it was so much easier to be grateful for it. 

It's easy to get wrapped up in day to day life, but trust (no not me but yourself) that if you stop for 10 seconds to think of one thing that brings you a smile you will feel better about your life and attract the right thing for you.

by PC from BC, Canada

The Secret

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

4. Go!

Your passion—bolstered by strengths, fueled by motivation—is crystallizing into a plan. Now what? 

First you need to know exactly what's holding you back.

Try this exercies

Source: Oprah

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

Forging Ahead

As you move toward your goal, make sure to fill every possible step with the rewards that motivate you best.

If you crave Connection, look for mentors who can guide you, a group that can support you, and ways to get your family involved in your activities. Say your goal is learning to knit: Find out if there's a knitting circle at your local yarn store; join ravelry.com, a social network for needlework aficionados; try to get your mother or daughter to learn alongside you.

If Security is what drives you, avoid risks and embrace structure so you can relax and enjoy what you're doing, feeling safe and worry-free. If your goal is doing yoga but the cost of classes stresses you out, offer to assist the teacher before class in exchange for free lessons. If you long to travel, start with all-inclusive packages that take care of the details for you.

If you're motivated by a need for Accomplishment, try to make everything a game in which you can shoot for a clear goal and compete, even if you're only competing with yourself. If your goal is writing poetry, start taking part in poetry slams. If your goal is becoming fluent in Chinese, enlist a like-minded buddy and see who can get through language-learning software with the highest score.

If you're an Influence lover, don't hesitate to set group goals and galvanize others to help you achieve them. Why just volunteer to help famine victims in Somalia when you can organize a fund-raiser yourself? Why just master a new skill—whether it's composting or woodcarving—when you can launch a blog that tells others how they can do it, too? Waiting for other people to set the agenda will only frustrate you. Leadership will fulfill you.

If you're most engaged by the quest for Enlightenment, don't put yourself in situations that compromise your sense of freedom: getting in shape by joining a fierce "boot camp" class at your gym, plowing through a book you don't like because everyone else in your club is reading it. Instead, devote yourself to meaningful pursuits—taking self-guided nature hikes, perhaps, or cooking mindfully with plants you've grown yourself. Everything you do can fuel your sense of inner awakening, and when it does, you'll be up and running. 

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

Reality-Check Your Goal

Write down the goal you created with your friend in Step 2. 

Now, in light of your primary motivation style(s), reconsider this goal. How well does it correspond to the type of rewards and incentives you need?

You may find that your goal doesn't match your inner drive: You'd love to row across the Atlantic solo, say, but you're driven by Connection. Maybe in choosing, you were unconsciously influenced by other people's opinions, or by your own sense of what constitutes a "worthwhile" way to spend your time. Whatever the reason, if your goal simply doesn't match your heart's desires, now is the time to choose again. Go back and look at the second and third passions you identified in Step 1, and revisit your strengths in Step 2. Aligning your ambitions with your true personality is an important part of staying healthy, resilient, and enthusiastic.

Of course, there are also goals that seem an unlikely fit for a given motivation style but can be tweaked to give you more of the incentive you need. For example, if your goal is running a marathon but your motivation preference is Enlightenment, you could turn your training into "running meditation." If you're an Accomplishment junkie and you want to help victims of domestic violence, you could propose a specific goal-oriented project at a local shelter, or have two teams of volunteers compete to collect the most donations.

Even if your goal is well aligned with your motivation style, you can probably amp it up. For example, if you value Connection and your goal involves saving oily seabirds from tanker accidents, can you bring your loved ones together to bond with you on a mercy mission? If you thrive on Influence and your goal involves working for civil rights, can you initiate a social-media outreach plan as part of the project?

If you're a Connection lover, ask yourself: How could I add more social interaction to my goal?

If you're a Security lover, ask yourself: How could I add more financial rewards to my goal?

If you're an Influence lover, ask yourself: How could I add more leadership to my goal?

If you're an Accomplishment lover, ask yourself: How could I add more competition to my goal?

If you're an Enlightenment lover, ask yourself: How could I add more freedom to my goal?

Restate your goal here, modifying it to increase the reward that motivates you most.

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

3. Tap Your Motivation

Having a goal is great. But as Martha Beck can tell you, making sure you have the incentive to stick with it is even better. 

Now that you've framed your passion as a goal, it's time to think about what you'll need to stay passionate as you pursue it. Everyone has innate preferences for certain kinds of experience. Some people live to connect socially, others crave moments of personal insight, while still others thrive on the feeling of being the best. Whatever drives you, if you act in accordance with that drive as you move toward your goals, you'll tend to stay on track. If there's a disconnect, you're far more likely to find reasons to lose interest.

This part of our workbook will help you figure out, motivation-wise, what makes you tick. That insight will, in turn, help you reassess the feasibility of your goal. Think of it as a reality check for your dreams.

Take this quiz to identify your motivation style

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

2. Take Stock of Your Strengths

Identifying your true talents isn't always easy. The trick: Let someone else do it for you.

How often have you gotten a compliment on your creativity or your patience or your resilience, only to wave it off, assuming that these strengths must come easily to everyone? In my 30 years as a lifestyle/career coach and author, the mistake I see people make time and again is failing to recognize their talents. An honest inventory may be difficult—even impossible—for you to do yourself. So sit with a friend and try this exercise. It's a new twist on something I call the Self-Correcting Life Scenario, and it's one of my favorites.—Barbara Sher 

Try it now: 6 steps to identifying your true talents

4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You're Meant to Be

It's about figuring out what you're great at, what it takes to keep you moving forward, and exactly what you need to succeed.

1. Find Your Passion

The first part of figuring out how you want to spend your one and only life: identifying the activities that make you light up—the things you love to do more than anything else. Use this exercise to zero in on them.

Try it now: Print this
Got your list? Great. Now whittle it down.

Ask yourself, If I had to choose between the first activity and the second, which is more appealing to me? If you get stuck, close your eyes and envision a life in which the first activity plays a major role and the second doesn't exist. Now envision a life in which the second activity plays a major role and the first doesn't exist. Which image feels better? Once you have your answer, put your finger on the winner and compare that choice with the third activity.

Repeat this exercise all the way around the loop, moving your finger to the winning activity after each comparison; when you complete the loop, your finger will be on your number one passion. Write that activity at the top of the list below, and draw an X over the activity in the loop. Now repeat this process four more times (always starting from the top), and each time, skip the X-ed out activities.

You've just found your top five passions.

10. Ensure that your innermost beliefs support, enhance, and further your goals

What do you believe about yourself and your chances of reaching your goals? Do you believe that you can reach them? Will it be easy or hard? Can you do it alone or will you need help? Will reaching your goal be good for you or not? Beliefs are a key part of your ability to reach your goals. Pause now, and re-affirm your belief in yourself. Take that sense of security and confidence and start again. This will enable you to successfully accomplish any job you set before yourself. 
Eric Jensen.

The Present

Silent

9. Attach positive values to each of your tasks

If you have to clean up the kitchen, realize that the accomplishment of the project will make you feel good about where you live. If you have to write a business proposal, associate it with making more money and gaining financial security. If you have to call a friend to discuss an uncomfortable situation, think of the call as a means of gaining courage, reducing stress, and building greater trust.
Eric Jensen

LoL! :))

REAL people

Technology is not an alternative to real life. 

Facebook is not an alternative to friendship. 

Enjoy both, but don't forget you need real people around
~Pablo Coelho

Who cares what other people say! Just enjoy!

c2C <3

8. Set Goals That Move & Inspire You

There are no unmotivated people, only unchallenging goals. Make your goals believable and exciting - and make sure that they challenge you without discouraging you. Set goals for health and vitality, and for improving relationships and character. Lackluster goals will remain on the shelf like a bad book. But powerful goals will ignite your hottest fires so that you get them done...now! 
Eric Jensen

"How I FEEL about myself is more important than how I look. 

Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin

—that's what really makes you beautiful." 

~Bobbi Brown

c2C

Start Before You Are Ready

6. Always Create a "Plan B"

Even if you totally expect to succeed, have a back-up-plan. What will you do if things don't fall into place? If others don't come through? If you get sick? If the weather become horrible? With an alternate plan you can relax in the knowledge that even in the worst case, you'll be all right.
Eric Jensen. 

If you don't like where you are, then change it.
You are not a tree.

5. Troubleshoot Your Task

Analyse up front any potential blocks, hazards, or uncertainties. What possible negative factors will arise? Lack of support, technical knowledge, time, physical space, energy, money, or experience can all make a task seem daunting. Handle as many of these obstacles as early as possible. Then you will feel much more positive about your chances for success and you will dive into the task at hand.
Eric Jensen

May The Joy Be With You

Pure love has no conditions or boundaries. Love does not restrain itself or hold back. Love gives all the time and doesn't ask for anything in return. Love is a continues flow without any limits. And all of this is inside you.


Rhonda Byrne

"Stop rejecting new relationships 

just because old ones didn’t work. 

In life you’ll realize that 

there is a purpose for everyone you meet. 

Some will test you, 

some will use you 

and some will teach you.

But most importantly, 

some will bring out the best in you."

4. Take One Small Step RIGHT NOW

"Poco a poco, se va a lejos." 


Little by little, one goes far. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. To get it done, simply start now, taking one step at a time. 
Eric Jensen

How's Your Relationship?

Sshh....
I'm trying to concentrate here.

3. Give Yourself an Extra Month Each Year To Reach Your Goals

To get it, simply eliminate the false tyrannical mindset of "not enough time". Get up an extra half-hour early, or go to bed a half-hour later each night. (When you exercise better, eat better, and have positive reinforcing thoughts, you may find you can do with a half-hour less sleep!). Use that time to either work on your goal or on yourself. It may not be much time in and of itself, but it sure adds up. A half-hour extra, six days a week, is three hours a week. That's 166 extra hours or more than four forty-hour work weeks extra per year!
Eric Jensen