Five Signs Of A Good Listener

We all know some people are better listeners than others. Excellent listeners give their full attention to whoever is talking. Pitiful listeners can’t stop thinking about themselves long enough to hear what others have to say. Most of us fall somewhere between.

People with anxiety may not listen well if their focus and worry is on what to say next. This usually leads to mind-freeze or lobe-lock; conversations typically go downhill from there.

Know that if you practice listening attentively, meaning not thinking but only listening, conversation is much easier. It leaves you free to have spontaneous reactions to what is being said which is a necessary ingredient of good discussions.

Although most of us know when we are with a good listener, we may never think about what qualities are involved in listening well; until now.

5 Signs of L.I. (Listening Intelligence)

1. When talking to a good listener, you know that you’ve engaged their attention. The eyes reveal they are focused on you. They will not get the glazed over look of someone who’s deciding what to eat for lunch, or appear distracted as a person who is listening to another conversation while in one.
2. Because a good listener is free to react naturally to what is said, they come across as being genuine. Attentive listening requires a person to forget themselves while conversing, and people are more genuine when the self is temporarily forgotten.
3. Many excellent listeners come up with frequent intuitive remarks or keen observations. Because their attention is on your words, and they are not thinking about what to say next, their mind is quiet. A quiet mind can be observant of body language, facial expressions, the feeling behind words, and is ready to receive any pearls of wisdom that visit their gray matter.
4. Good listeners often know themselves well because they not only listen to others, but to their own thoughts, feelings, and instincts.
5. After enjoying someone’s rapt attention, you walk away feeling appreciated, that what you think and feel matters. Giving attention to someone is a gift everyone likes receiving.

Listening skills can be improved, and there are payoffs for making the effort. Being attentive works magic with relationships, school grades, and employee performance reviews. If your social anxiety is high, you may need to practice listening and responding with a counselor, or in a group setting, where you can learn to trust your spontaneous thoughts, and emotions.

By Jacqueline Marshall.

Source: Living With Anxiety